Words by Kim Goulbourne, "Bourn"

I have issues with commitment

Confessions of a chronic creator

I’m not speaking for all chronic creators when I say, I have an issue with commitment. I describe myself as that because I enjoy making multiple things in shorter periods of time but also never doing much beyond launch. A concept that is completely opposite of what’s required to grow any profitable product or business.

I wasn’t always this way though and I think I know exactly how I got here. My first and only “startup”, Hshtags, crashed and burned because of many reasons but the main being that I wasn’t willing to commit to a pivot I wasn’t passionate about. Seems reasonable except I believe it also made me scared to want to commit to anything ever again since I did spend (waste) 3 years on it and nothing ever came of it.

Making products is a powerful drug for me and I get the best high planning, building and launching. Committing long-term however would mean I’d never get that high again, or so I think.

Now that I’m addicted to that high, I fear I’ll never be able to give it up, but the reality is, I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to take my brand to the next level and make money doing what I love if I don’t at least try. So how does someone like me give my products time to grow and flourish?

Logically, I have to start thinking long-term. But only on projects where I truly have a passion beyond the initial scope of the idea. The problem is most of my ideas typically only cover a small part of an industry I have no other interest in other than solving that immediate problem, which is a topic for another article.

Psychologically, I need to better understand how I feel about commitment. I know Hshtags scarred me, but I still don’t know if it revealed the real me or shattered the best part. Nevertheless, I need to truly understand why I can’t stomach the idea of working on something for more than a few months.

To be honest, I don’t know if I’ll ever get over being a commitment-phobe or if I’ll just find the right formula to make it work for me. Either way, I know whatever I’m doing now isn’t working and something needs to change.

Do it with passion or not at all,
– Kim Goulbourne aka “Bourn”

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